Rim Tawal signing off

One of the very first things that introduced So Much for Tact to a few readers was an entry I'd made about Rim Tawal, the latest in a long line of hacks at the Asheville Citizen-Times. In the entry, I professed bewilderment at why exactly Rim Tawal continues to have a career. We had some fun going back and forth, and he stung me a few times with his column, and I bit back right here. At the end of the day, Tawal turned out to be a decent enough kid, albeit one who as much in common with good writing as Ron Kovic has with erections.

But after a time of being off my radar, Tawal decided to fire back in his last column for the AC-T with this wonderful passage:

I guess the climax of my literary career came in February of 2007 when local blogger and Mountain Xpress freelancer Jason Bugg took his disdain for me to the Web, claiming my writing gave him the confidence to pursue his dream.

If my child, at age 30, ever tells me his dream is to write for a small, free alternative newspaper, I will chomp down on a cyanide capsule before you can even say “Fall Out Boy.”

It's amazing what working at a soul sucking hellhole company like Gannett will train someone to think. Apparently, my immediate reaction to it was "...okay great". To me, it's sad that this kid felt such disdain for me that I'm still, a year and a half later the highlight of this guy's career. I'm not going into the minutia of what being a freelancer has done for me, because that would be a dick swinging contest and I hate that. Well, I don't actually hate it but I'm too lazy to type right now. Let's just say I've done more than sit in my cubicle and listen to my iPod while editorial mandated changes to bring in the 18-35 year old dollar.

But I guess the question I have from all of this is this: what the fuck? How the hell did this no talent hack who doesn't have the talent to de-flea my roommate's dog get a job doing what I want to do for a living? Who did he blow? I'm willing to bet that he has pictures of some higher up at Gannett blowing a small child.

I really don't know what to write about this. I'm sure the Xpress is hoping that I skewer Tawal with a few barbs so that they can run them online. I don't have any, though. Seriously, I'm the highlight of this kids career? What the hell?

But I will say this: Tim, it's me, Jason. I know your career as a columnist has all the momentum of Jean-Claude Van Damme's career right now, and I feel for you. I hope that one day, your talent blossoms like that television show and you end up doing something that is worthy of your skills, like writing those tags on pillows and mattresses, but until then, I wish you nothing but the best.

Also, I hope that you have kidney stones that look like sea urchins.

Until next time, fuck off.