Clay Aiken loves makin' bacon.

So the talk of the blogasphere today is that Clay Aiken is gay. I don't know if people were just hiding their heads in the sand, but everyone knew that years ago.

I have no problem with Aiken being gay. What I do have a problem with is Aiken being famous. Let's face it, the guy won a karaoke contest on television and now he has more notoriety and fame than geniuses like myself could ever hope for. There is no justice.

To make up for this here, here and here are some links to threads about Aiken that were posted on the Mountain Xpress' website. What's sad isn't the vitriol that the people hate Aiken attack him with, it's the weird wide-eyed doughy optimism that these (largely female) defenders of Aiken see him as. A common post defending this hack is something like this:

Just go see one Clay Aiken concert, I dare you. You say it doesn’t matter what the guy sings, if “the songs he sings are base and without merit”. Um, all of the songs he has done covers of for his 2nd CD, A Thousand Different Ways, are huge hit songs--Richard Marx’s Right Here Waiting, Dolly Parton’s Here You Come Again, Harry Nilsen’s Without You...the list goes on. How are these songs “base and without merit”?? If it’s the songs like “Baby Got Back” and “Sexy Back” that you’re referring to as “base and without merit”, you clearly missed the point of him singing those! He sings those songs to MAKE FUN of how commercialized and soul-less most of the songs that get radio play today are.

I also take HUGE offense at your calling Clay’s fans “the lowest common denominator of fans”. I’m a self-trained pianist with a passion for all types of music - Rolling Stones, Elvis, Sarah Brightman, Keith Urban, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Prince, Buddy Holly. (Yea, I’m a bit eclectic in my tastes.) Don’t go bashing the fans just because you don’t like Clay Aiken.

So enough about Jason. Alli, to answer your question...you’ve got to see Clay perform to understand his adoring followers. Yes, he sings TV songs in this tour, but that’s not the meat of the night. His best songs are those that were written for HIM for A Thousand Different Ways (which everyone seems to FORGET about, namely - These Open Arms and Lover All Alone (which was a bonus song on iTunes, but should have been on the CD.)

He sings these songs with such a depth of feeling and a technical expertise that few artists can match. His vocals are PERFECT and beautiful. He has an incredible vocal range--from very low notes to falsetto highs a la Michael Jackson. For Jason Bugg to call him a “no talent hack” just shows how ignorant he is--I guess he’s never even listened to a Clay Aiken song all the way through, and wouldn’t know talent if it hit him between the eyeballs.

Besides being an phenomenally talented singer, Clay is so dang funny! He interacts with the audience at his shows, and cracks jokes like a young Johnny Carson. Not only that, but you can tell he really cares about the people who care about him! For example, after the Columbus, Ohio concert, he personally SHOOK HANDS with and thanked each of 2500 fans waiting patiently in line to see him before he boarded his tour bus (albeit he moved down the line very quickly!). What other celebrity do you know who does that??

Aside from his vocal and performing expertise, and his love for his fans, Clay is also a man with a huge heart. He’s done work with UNICEF and has co-founded the Bubel Aiken charity.

Please don’t let the sensationalized media stories, or the trends of what’s “hip” in music today sway you against Clay Aiken! Just give the man a chance, and you’ll be very, VERY surprised.

Sure that's long, but I think you needed to read the whole thing to get the mind numbing stupidity of your average shut in-- I mean, Clay Aiken fan.

The real reason I posted this was because at a certain point I got tired of telling people over and over that Aiken sucks, so I started posting little gems like this about Aiken:

This guy who lived up the street from me used to come over and say awful things to me and my sister. We’d cry whenever we saw him drive by, but then one day he started playing Clay Aiken’s music. At first, we were hesitant to get inside of his ‘78 Econoline van, but when we did, we listened to Clay’s music.

You go Clay! Your music helped me block out a very trying experience and just knowing that you give so much to charity makes it okay! CLAY AIKEN MAKES ME NOT WANT TO PRESS CHARGES, PEOPLE! So HATERS, keep HATING, Clay is the REAL DEAL!

God it's fun being a prick.

So for all of you Clay Aiken fans that may stumble upon this, I'm sorry. You are a sad group of losers. To Aiken, I hope that you are relieved that you don't have to live a lie. To the rest of you, I say I'm sorry that I posted this.

Until later, be good.